The other day, I was organizing my shoes in my closet. I have a favorite pair of black pumps. The classic high-heel. I can wear them for hours. They’re beautiful shoes, and I feel good when I get to wear them. We all have that favorite pair of shoes, ladies.
Since I moved to Colorado, those shoes haunt my memory. When I look at them, I see the shoes I couldn’t wait to wear at my college graduation. And I also remember how I didn’t get to wear them. I remember making the executive decision to wear my black wedges instead. You see, my gait was unsteady at that point. I didn’t know I was experiencing MS symptoms. Yet, I was terrified of falling, even with my unfailing, steady black pumps. So, I changed my mind and wore the wedges. Reluctantly, that is. So, those shoes are still my favorite, but they haunt me a little. It’s an unwelcome reminder of what I went through in those few months.
When I was lying in that hospital bed, I was numb. I just went through the motions of the day, focused on my sleep deprivation and my high blood sugars. I listened to people tell me success stories of people who have MS and they just went in one ear and out the other as I tried to recover from the shock of being diagnosed. For a while there, I honestly didn’t know if/when I was going to feel happy again. That seems a bit drastic, I know, but I’m being real with you here. And, I wasn’t happy. Not for a long time. Feigning smiles and happiness became the norm, while I screamed at God on the inside. Not another disease. Not another lifelong struggle. Not fair.
I’ve seen a lot of anger lately. I’ve seen a lot of accusation. I’ve seen a lot of arrogance. I’ve seen a lot of stereotyping. I’ve seen a lot of #NotMy[this] and #NotMy[that]. It’s all rooted in hatred towards someone or something.
That is not from God. Hatred is not from God.
Those of us who follow God and trust in His plan, are we really trusting Him? Or, are we lashing out because we feel some things are “unfair” and we deserve better? Be careful with that word – deserve. Who are we to determine what we do/don’t deserve? We don’t deserve God’s grace. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, God gives grace to us freely when we confess our sin and acknowledge Jesus as our Savior.
This is not a political blog. Heaven forbid I start a political argument. This is for those of us who have proclaimed that we trust God in all circumstances. On a much smaller scale, when I was diagnosed with MS, I was angry. I no longer had steadfast trust in God’s plan. I felt betrayed. I felt angry. But is that not what is going on in this country for those of us who are believers? I’ve seen dissenting opinions about God – some say that He is finally intervening, and some say He isn’t present at all. He is always present. He has never broken a promise. [For example and a very short summary…]He told Abraham that his descendants would have a “promised land”, and did He not fulfill that promise years later?
Today, in church, I was reminded that God’s plan, God’s end game, sometimes takes years to be accomplished. We were in the book of Exodus and discussing Moses. Moses was destined to be the leader of the Israelites from birth, sure, but God didn’t call him to his purpose to free the Israelites from oppression until he was an old man. Moses had lived a lifetime by then. God’s timeline is not our timeline. The hard events that some of us go through, haven’t they been used for the better? I have become a different person after being diagnosed with MS. That hardship has been used for the better in my life. And, if that is evident in our own lives, shouldn’t we trust that God will also do that on a global scale?
God says to His disciples:
“‘I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.'” (John 16:33)
God also reminds us that His way is the narrow and more difficult path.
“‘Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’ But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.'” (Luke 13:24-25)
No matter what your political position, no matter what may be happening in your life, as believers, we know that Jesus is above it all. And that is reason enough to trust Him in all circumstances, difficult as it may be. Where does your belief lie? And how are you using it to encourage others?
[because Jesus was obedient to the Father even unto death]”Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:9-11)
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