I Do Not Follow Christian Values To Make Friends

I can’t tell you how many times I have astonished people with my values. The funny thing is, the values I follow aren’t so far from what was expected in the past. This post is a bit of a rant, but I needed to get this off of my chest.

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.”

-1 Thessalonians 4:3-6

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

-1 Corinthians 6:18-20

I believe in remaining a virgin until marriage. I can’t tell you how many people – girls and guys alike – who have made fun of me for that. But here’s a little secret. I really don’t care what they think. It’s not for them. I endure the ridicule, smile at the shocked faces, and hold onto my belief despite the sex culture that is running rampant in this society. Do I judge people who don’t follow this value? Absolutely not. Heaven knows, I’m nowhere near perfect. I am in no position to judge anyone. It’s just my belief. The bible explicitly tells us to honor our bodies. I plan on it. I do not read this as a suggestion. And, I certainly do not follow it to make friends. In fact, it has caused me some heartbreak in my life. But I’m okay with that because I know I am doing the right thing.


“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

-Ephesians 5:23

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

-Ephesians 6:4

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

-Ephesians 5:33 {I recommend reading all of Ephesians 5:21-33}

Maybe I’m a bad feminist. Hey, I agree with women receiving equal pay as their male counterparts in the workforce, and I believe that a woman can hold any job she wishes. I believe that hard work will produce results. I know there are some serious gender discrimination issues in our country with media and such (on both sides), don’t get me wrong. However, when it comes to marriage, family, and faith, I believe in the man taking the reigns and leading his family in prayer and guidance. I’m not saying the wife should be passive and moldable, but she also needs to be in prayer and serve as the male’s partner in discerning these things. I don’t have this value to necessarily make friends, it’s not a super popular thought among my generation nowadays.



“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

-Song of Songs 2:7

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

-2 Timothy 2:22

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

-2 Corinthians 6:14

“‘But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'”

-Mark 10:6-9

Dating. As I’ve said before, it’s exhausting. Often, with the previous values I’ve mentioned, people don’t take kindly to my way of thinking. I get two polar opposite reactions. Some roll their eyes and ridicule me, and some say “Good for you!” I do not believe in living with someone before you’re married. With living together comes the expectation of sex, and I’m not willing to go there, like I’ve said before. Contrary to popular belief, God does not hate sex. He gave it to us as a gift – for husband and wife. It is not meant for before marriage. Sex strengthens a relationship – and it should be reserved for marriage. That is my belief. And, it certainly has not made me any friends.

When it comes to dating, I believe in the man pursuing the woman. If he can’t do that when you’re dating, what makes you think he’s going to do that in marriage? No, I don’t believe in making the first move. As a girl, it’s important to reciprocate if you feel the same, of course, but let the man come to you. Let him take the initiative. That’s what I believe. It hasn’t made me any friends. In dating, there comes a point where I need to know that my boyfriend can lead a relationship and follow through. If he can’t do that when he’s dating me, he certainly won’t do that in a marriage. Now, many of you know that I am a strong person, and I have my opinions. Again, I’m not saying that girls need to be passive and that the man needs to do everything. For heaven’s sake, please stand up for yourself! But give your significant other a chance to lead the relationship. Guys, for you too, be a man and lead the relationship.

Dr. reid

Maybe I’ll lose some friends over this blog post. That’s okay. I don’t follow these values for you. I am committed to my faith, and the commands that God gives me. Yes, I fail on a daily basis to follow all the rules. I’m only human. But, holding onto these values regarding relationships has kept me from some potentially dangerous situations. God doesn’t just make commands to make your life miserable. But He certainly didn’t promise that following these commands would make you friends with everybody. These small lifestyle changes are nothing compared to Christianity’s view on bigger things like abortion, homosexuality, or politics. I won’t even get into that. But I do have one thing to say about all of it: I follow and believe the Bible’s commands.

I get frustrated with our culture nowadays. It’s frustrating that people make fun of me, behind my back or to my face, because of this stuff. It’s frustrating that because of my values, people assume that I’m judging them for what they do. It’s frustrating that people think I’m self-righteous. I am simply honoring my beliefs in an active way. I don’t mind explaining why I follow the values I do. I will gladly sit down and discuss this with people. But, I am certainly not judging anybody’s situation. I have had more than enough heartbreak in my life to somewhat understand where people are coming from. But there are just some things that I won’t budge on, and I’m okay with it. Thanks for reading. If you have any thoughts or questions, please feel free to comment or email me!

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