“Adulting”: Real Talk

Hello, friends! I hope this post finds you well. Today I want to talk about something that’s relevant to many of us.

**Not responsible for the misspelling of ‘realise’ on the last picture. I do know that it is spelled ‘realize’ 😉

I was just talking about “adulting” with a friend on Skype last night. Despite the jokes floating around about the hardships of finally being an adult, I think we need to talk a little reality.

Like many of you, I have graduated college, moved to an entirely different state, and started an entirely new job with my newly validated college degree. There are so many emotions involved in that, and people don’t talk about it very much. First off, in the spirit of being real, I am often lonely. I do live by myself, and although there are certainly positive aspects to that, there are some negative ones. I have some friends around my new city, but my close friends from college are scattered everywhere around the world, which doesn’t help. Do you ever get on facebook, see people you know posting all those pictures of fun times and think to yourself, “Why don’t I have that yet?” Yeah. Me too.

I moved back to Colorado, and I couldn’t be happier. I belong in this state. I’m happy here. But nobody talks about the struggle of developing close friends when you move. If you’re like me, you’re an introvert. Going to big gatherings of people you hardly know is somewhat of a nightmare. You’ll do it because you want to put yourself out there, but it’s hard, and it’s draining. I’m a nurse, I do okay talking with total strangers, but forming a bond like you would with a close friend is harder than it looks.

I’ve joined a new church. I know church is important, and I know I need it, but it’s a new experience going into church by myself. Usually I have been surrounded by family or friends. Luckily, I found a friend that also goes to the church, so I’m not completely alone there. However, that has taken time to develop. On another note, I can’t go to church consistently because I work on some weekends. So, that has taken some adjustment that nobody told me about. Trying to join new groups is hard because of the variability of my schedule.

Not to mention…all the engagements and marriages happening?! You ever sit there and think, “Why aren’t I at this point in life yet?” Me too. Not that I’m not happy for all those in that situation, I truly am! It’s an exciting time in life! But, instead, sometimes I feel a little bitter that while this was happening to other people I knew, I was sitting in a hospital bed dealing with a life-changing diagnosis. Life happened to me too, just in a different way.

My new job…is fabulous and I love the people I work with. But, all the same, it’s a new job. Like most of you, I’m trying to prove myself, trying to do my job well. Just the other day, I reached my six month mark of being a nurse. That is incredible to me. And I’m excited I’ve made it this far. I’ve adjusted to the long hours, the acuity of the patients I work with, conversations with doctors, and I feel a little bit more comfortable. But starting a new job is stressful, and nobody really talks about that. Have you had the “benefits” talk with your new employer? Yeah, what in the world does all that mean, and do I actually need to get life insurance at 22 years old?! I even had to start filling out ADA (American Disability Assocation) paperwork because of my newly diagnosed MS. That paperwork is intimidating. After these conversations, guess who I called? My parents. I was like, “Um, help! What do I do?”

So, in short, what happened to the good old days where I felt independent, but really had no idea what my parents did behind the scenes? Those were the days!

The thing I’ve had to focus on lately is patience. In our society, instant gratification has become expected. You read that and think, “Well gee, Morgan, I don’t feel that way, I know things take time.” Yeah, I would think that too. But the more I look at it, the more I realize that I have been trying to rush these things. I moved here to Colorado and instantly expected to be a part of a close circle of friends, be involved in a bible study, get involved in the church, etc… Some of it has happened to an extent, but certainly not to the degree I was hoping. I don’t know how many of you can relate. Even some of you in the same city, maybe you’re feeling the same with all your friends moving away? Through all this, I realized I have been expecting instant gratification from my new adult life. It hasn’t happened yet. All the same, it can be frustrating while you sit there and wonder why you don’t feel good enough, why you feel incompetent, or why you can’t make friends fast enough.

I’m with you, friend. Fear not. I can’t help being an introvert. I can’t help but miss the days of college where your friends were just down the hall. But what I can remind you of (and myself in the process) is, to have patience. It will all come in time. God has perfect timing, you don’t. God knows what you need, you don’t. So, be patient. There is a time for everything. It just may not be your time. God’s plan cannot be thwarted. We have a choice. We can live each day as it comes, thanking God for another opportunity to live like He would, or we can sit and be unsatisfied with our lives and wonder why we aren’t good enough. I have been guilty of the latter many times, so you aren’t alone. Nobody really talks about the hardships of transitioning to adulthood, we just make jokes out of it. However, these are very real feelings, and very real insecurities as we begin life as adults. So, please, if you need to talk about these things, do it. We all feel the stress in one way or another. GOOD NEWS, though, is that God will make things happen in His timing. We just need to be faithful in prayer. Thanks for taking the time to read.

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”

-Ecclesiastes 7:14

“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.”

-1 Corinthians 4:5